Stepdad's Thoughts

My thought and feelings.

Why I write…

I started this blog for the following reasons;

  • To help me express my feelings for my step children that I don’t say. (The more I see the more I really don’t think the feelings I have mean much to them. I believe they see me as the strict step-dad that they have to put up with.)
  • To keep me from holding in my feelings, not bottling them up. I have always had a tendency to hold in my closest feelings being able to express them in writing helps the way I feel inside.
  • To express my opinion on any topic I choose.

September 11, 2009 Posted by | General, Parenting, Politics | , , | 1 Comment

Still not into it

I have been a no show for Hap Ki Do since I made it to Deputy I. I just don’t seem to have the drive to move forward even though I know in my head I should get it done. I also don’t have the drive to put my thoughts here. Work has kept me busy but I also don’t seem to be able to come up with the words that will make since. Lack of confidence, lazy, lethargic… Who knows?

I hope after the new year I will be able to get myself back to doing my workouts. Maybe that will help me to clear my head so i can put down coherent words. Until then Merry Christmas.

December 19, 2011 Posted by | General | Leave a comment

Tae Kwon Do as rehabilitation

I’m not one that likes to see re-posts but I found this very inspiring;

I received an email from ‘Everyday Health’ about how Tae Kwon Do helped to save a young teen. Below is the beginning of the article and the link to the entire story;

Breaking Through: How Tae Kwon Do Saved One Teen’s Brain

It was an otherwise normal day when 13-year-old Kassidy Brewer experienced a ruptured brain aneurysm that nearly killed her. This is the story of how her passion for martial arts — and an unrelenting family support system — brought her back to life.

By Sharon Tanenbaum

Click here for the full story;
Watch the videos associated with the story also. This is a very inspiring young lady.

September 15, 2011 Posted by | Concerns, General, Kids, Parenting | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Been a while

It’s been a while since I made an entry. Mostly due to lack of interest and limited time. During the day at work I have managed to stay quite busy then at home I’ve been reading a number of books, all about an apocalyptic world in one form or another. I’ve also been to the doctor a few times trying to figure out why I get winded so easily while doing very low strenuous activities. It has really bothered me, to the point where I have stopped Hapkido and all workout activities. I have been thinking lately of getting back to the workouts but have concerns. The cardiologist ran various tests and found nothing wrong and the testing for asthma was negative. I guess I am confused/concerned as to what is going on.

I wonder if it’s all in my head and I need to quite worrying and get back to the workouts. I have a year, roughly, to reach Black Belt; this is just slowing down my progress. The problem is simple things like walking up the stairs can really wind me, not every time but enough that I am worried and the doctors have found nothing.

I need to make a decision… being out of shape is not a good thing. I have pretty much stopped the cokes and deserts. Now I need to figure out my exercise plan.

August 29, 2011 Posted by | Concerns, General, Hap Ki Do | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Just not up to it….

I’ve not posted lately simply because I am not feeling up to putting all my thoughts online. Lately I have had much self doubt… I’m finding it hard to be motivated to really do much. I’ve had to put on a good face for some family functions but truthfully my heart is not in it. I’ve not been to Hapkido or done any type of exercise. Work is getting done simply because I have been dragged into issues.

I sure wish I new what the problem was.

July 7, 2011 Posted by | Concerns, General | , , , , | Leave a comment

Deputy Belt I

June 11 I will test for my next belt in Hapkido, Deputy I. This is the first of two belts that are focused on the Black Belt testing; this time is used to make sure I know the techniques very well. There are two Deputy belts, I & II, which take about 6 months each to complete. The previous belt techniques are split down the middle and you focus on them to re-enforce technique. At the end of the final six months there are several tests; endurance, techniques and forms. There is a lot of private practice coming over the next year.

June 1, 2011 Posted by | General | , | Leave a comment

Last few weeks

The last few weeks have really been messy.

The end of April to the beginning of May I was in Kentucky trying to get a temporary office up and running since the regular office was being flooded by the Ohio River. That managed to put several things on hold or delayed them. I’ve managed to spend more time catching up and fighting fires since then. Spending two full days out of the office at our Co-Location site re-cabling and replacing gear is a nice change but is also very wearing.

On top of all this I have had a VERY short fuse with just about everyone. I am tired of not being listened to both at home and at work. Having to having the same conversation multiple times because the person I am talking with can’t seem to remember shit is driving me nuts. And the lack of my opinion meaning anything at home just pushes me to the end of my rope.

The last couple of nights I’ve started having a drink thinking it might make me less irritable or at least be able to cope a little better. It’s been 50/50 so far.

I’ve not been to Hapkido either which has also been a bother to me. I’ve either been at work, too tired or simply not in the right mindset. And yes this irritates me to. I plan on going tonight. I have my test for Deputy I on June 2, this is the first step in the Black Belt review; the whole process takes about a year. I am going to need to change my ways if I am going to reach Black Belt. I don’t feel I am in good enough physical shape to pass the physical requirements, God help me get my head in the game.

The sad thing is I am just flat tired of feeling unappreciated and disrespected. And I don’t know how to change things.

May 24, 2011 Posted by | Concerns, General, Hap Ki Do | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One hell of a week…

Last week, Tuesday, wife wife was hospitalized with staph infection the became systemic. The staph made it into her blood stream and really caused some problems, mostly she felt miserable. She was throwing up, feeling dizzy, light headed, etc… I had never seen her like this. Let me back up…

5-April my wife cut her lead, it promptly became infected. She began putting antibiotics on it, but that just didn’t seem to handle the problem. On Friday she went to an Urgent Care facility and was told it was a staph infection. They lanced the boil as it had become, bandaged it and gave her a prescription for antibiotics. On Sunday she still was feeling it was healing right, she went back to the Urgent Care. She was then told the antibiotics weren’t working like they should so she was given another prescription. These new antibiotics had some side effects that concerned her so I stayed home from work on Monday with her just to be safe, she had no problems.

Tuesday she had an appointment with her regular doctor; I stayed home to go with her, it was at 10am. By 8am, after being up for more than an hour, she began to feel bad; dizzy, nauseous, etc… then she started throwing up. The doctors office is only 15 minutes a way and on the drive she throw up more. We got to the doctors office where she promptly went into an exam room and laid down…the doctor came in and looked at the original infection then said the staph had gone into her blood stream and she was going directly to the hospital emergency room.  Luckily it was in the building next door to his office.

It didn’t take long to get into the emergency room, once one of the doctors saw her various antibiotics were ordered and given to her via IV. A couple of hours later she was in a hospital room for a 4 night stay. All the time getting IV fluids and antibiotics at prescribe intervals, every six hours I think is was.

The good news she is doing good now and has gone back to work, she is still on oral antibiotics but doing much better.

I had never seen such a simple injury get bad so quick. I personally have had numerous cuts and wounds and never had this type of problem. I learned that it is quite easy for things to really get bad quick and to keep a close eye on the little cuts. I was really worried about my wife during this but I did all I could to not let her know I was worried so as not to make her too worried. I think it worked and she is doing good now.

April 21, 2011 Posted by | Concerns, General | , , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s been a while

It’s been a month since I last made an entry. I’ve been busy and partly simply did not feel up to writing, not that I didn’t have thoughts to put down. Between work, spring Break and being sick I simply have been out of it.

Shoot I went back to Hapkido after missing almost all of March. This past tuesday was my first day back. We had a very hard workout and I actually could not complete it. I got so dizzy/winded, etc… that I had to sit out the last 10 minutes. My instructor even called my wife to come get and drive me home, the way I felt I really had no business driving. I attribute the problem to being sick then getting back into a VERY tough workout and ME pushing too hard. Last night’s workout was much better, I didn’t get dizzy and felt refreshed after the workout.

Spring Break – for the first time since we’ve been married we had a FAMILY spring break. We took the kids to visit family on the first Saturday of SB then on Sunday we drove to Arkansas. Unfortunately Monday was raining and felt like crap (sick). It did workout, everyone pretty much just wanted to vege so that is what happened. Tuesday we got moving and drove to the DUDE Ranch we planned to stay at. We did zip-lining, horse back riding, rope work, etc… one morning the owning actually grabbed several of us for a “Top Shot” competition. I won two out of three contests. My stepson really enjoyed the riding, I think he went on four rides and has asked to go there for summer camp. Our dog even made friends with a couple of cows.

That’s a quick update, I will try to put more thoughts down later.

April 1, 2011 Posted by | General | , , | Leave a comment

It never changes

Yesterday my stepson had homework to complete for school today. He was up by 1030, had breakfast, etc… I told him to leave the TV off and get the work done as his mother told him. As the day went on I realized he had the TV on… Not wanting to make things blow up I ask him if he remembered me telling him to leave the TV off… he did. I asked why it was on but got no answer… I was getting mad now but I kept my cool. I told my wife that there is no way I am going to have any say with her kids when it comes to following the rules/doing what they are told to do. it’s been a while since I have let the crap get to me and I was much better off when I just let it go. I am really tired of it.Hell he was up until 1am doing homework he could have completed much sooner.

Same damn story every day it seems… I really need to learn how to mind my own business and do what I like to do and to hell with everyone else. Oh well it’s not worth going on about… just needed to blow off some steam… no one really gives a s*** if I have an opinion.

February 14, 2011 Posted by | General | , , , , | Leave a comment

Hapkido – Red Belt (UPDATE)

I passed the test to receive my Red Belt in Hapkido Friday night. I am one step closer to reaching Black Belt. I can now expect more focus on technique and pressure points along with a slow advancement cycle, about 4 months. After this I reach Deputy I then Deputy II then Black Belt… I guessing this time next year I will have my Black Belt.

February 14, 2011 Posted by | General | , , | Leave a comment