Stepdad's Thoughts

My thought and feelings.

How it started…

I consider myself very lucky. I was back into the dating scene after a failed 15 year marriage when a chance introduction began. A person I met of all places in a bar said she had someone I should meet.  I was open to meeting anyone but not looking to settle down. It began as many intros seem to now, over the internet, via email or instance message. We, my now wife and I, began chatting via IM and emailing and finally with the help of our mutual acquaintance agreed to meet in person; a real easy dinner meeting with the friend, her boyfriend, and the two of us.

I had never seem my to be wife yet our friend had shown her a picture of me so I was going blind. As I walked into the restaurant I was hit by the beautiful woman sitting on the edge of the bar area of the restaurant. Here she was sitting alone, dark brown hair, amber brown eyes and a great smile… WOW!! It was her; we did our introductions and waited for our chaperon to show up.

The four of us were seated and began our evening. It was amazing how easy it was to talk to her, much different than the other women I had been dating. Neither one of us was that hungry so we split something, I have no idea what it was and don’t care. We talked endlessly; I think we actually fell into a void where it was the two us alone. After eating we decided to go to a local bar for drinks and pool.

Once in the bar we fell into the void again. Our friend asked us why she bothered to join us since we were doing so well on our own. They played pool while we continued to talk. I don’t know when we finally left for the evening but it was definitely a good evening.

The next day I was still going over the evenings happenings. I could not believe how well we got along. I was still dating a few other women but found they just didn’t stack up. After about a week I ended dating with the other women to hopefully focus this beauty I had just met.

We continued our dating ritual, if you will, for a few months.

I was finally introduced to her children, at that time they were 6 and 10 I believe. It was a group dinner introduction not broadcasting here is your Mom’s boyfriend, just a simple get to meet you without any dating info.

Finally we began doing things with the kids. That was a very new thing for me since I don’t have kids of my own. It was fun; they seemed to be taking to me ok. I was the one that was unsure, not real informed on how to handle what they may say or do.

We finally had a small gathering at her house for the Super Bowl. Friends and family were invited, just who was there I don’t fully remember but I do know her Mom and stepdad were there. We were going back and forth trying to get things in place while everyone was visiting and watching the pre-game hype… She, my now wife, was walking into the kitchen from the living room area I was walking into the living room area… That is where we had our first kiss. I had had enough, I really needed to kiss her, it was worth the wait. It wasn’t one of those long drawn out kisses, just enough. We both looked around to see if anyone was watching us, we saw no one and to this day no one has said anything. We both had little devilish smiles at that point, it made for a good day.

Christmas….. I’ll get to it later.

The proposal…

It was finally time to see if this lady would marry me. I had started a new job and had managed to put money away to buy a ring. Nothing too big, she is more down to earth and not into the big gaudy stuff which was good for me. I did want to get her a ring she would be proud of, one that did catch the light and broadcast here I am… I think I did that. Now I had to figure out how to ask her to marry me. We had spoken about getting married and I told her I needed to make sure the kids were ok with it. After watching them and our interactions I finally felt that they would not be against us getting married. I didn’t feel right asking them directly mainly because I didn’t want them to know when or have any real details at all, I wanted it to be a surprise. We had spent a fare amount of time at a park that has bike trails, wildlife and other things to do, I figured it would be a good place to spring my proposal.

We did our riding and had built up a bit of an appetite, we had hot dogs with us. As I was getting the fire started her daughter was complaining about itching, her son was with me I think wanting to start the fire… I finally told them to sit at the picnic table, that I had a way to help stop the itching. I finally sat down and was asked what I was going to do… I carefully pulled the ring box out of my pocket, which nobody saw happen,   and said…”I thought I would ask you Mom to marry me”…. there was gasps, laughs, open jars, I think I heard an about time from her son, and some other things I just don’t remember.  She said “YES”.

We were married in 2005…      I love you Babe!!

Wedding… It was a morning wedding; breakfast/brunch was served. I’ll get into the details soon.

I am continuing to work at being a husband and step father. The husband part is much easier than the step father part, not having my own kids really makes it tough at time to have a clue what to do. I love them as if they were my own. Wanting nothing but to be able to help them grow into adults that are the best they can be. And, making a lot of mistakes along the way.

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