Stepdad's Thoughts

My thought and feelings.

What If?

I wonder what my life would be like if the choice I made had been different.

What if I had chosen to complete college and entered into law enforcement as I had originally planned. I can imagine I would be near retirement with well over 20 years of service or sitting pretty in some pencil pushing desk job. Who knows?

What if I had not married my first wife and worked more on the job/career? Would I be doing what I am today?

What if I chose not to remarry? What would I be doing today?

What if when I was thirteen I had drown in the undertow I was caught in? What would my family be doing today?

What if I was not as hard set on right and wrong?


September 1, 2010 Posted by | General | , , , | Leave a comment

Moving out

I just found out my step-daughter is planning to move to her Dad’s after she graduates from High School in a few months. This really doesn’t make her Mother very happy. Her mother asked her what was going to do with her things in her room… her response was to move her clothes. Then she was asked about college, the reply was her Dad and boyfriend could help her move.

This makes me think she is going to cut away from her mother. She’ll be 18 and has that right. My questions are what financial help will I now be responsible to handle. While living in our house I was  fine doing what was needed, when she moves out what then??? My thought is her Dad is now responsible or she is.

College requirements per my step-daughter;

  • refridgerator
  • laptop
  • printer
  • etc…

Things we WERE going to get… Should I now or is it her Dad’s responsibility? From my understanding her Dad is not able to help much with college costs which leaves the burden on her Mother and I. Does this change now that she will not be living with us?

The entire idea of her moving out, the way it is being done, is hurting her Mother greatly, yet she will not say anything to her daughter.

I’m a bit confused on what to do and what my responsibilities are and if they change any.

She is a good kid but quite self centered and inconsiderate when it comes to her Mother.

I guess time will tell. I’ll do what her Mother wants, but i will let her know my thoughts and will not hesitate to to say NO if I see an issue.

April 7, 2010 Posted by | Concerns, Kids, Parenting | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments


How do you pay for college? My step daughter will graduate from high school in the spring which means college is next, I hope. Finding the funds is going to be a real challenge. There are multiple options, grants, scholarships, loans, etc… I didn’t finish college, paying my own way just didn’t work. I want to be able to provide her the opportunity to get a college education in hopes she will be able to find a career she enjoys and can support herself in.oldmain

I have told her she needs to apply for every scholarship offered in hope of getting some money for school. I have done this for two reason; one is to get her to show just how much she wants to go to college, two is because I don’t have all the money that is needed. I have figured out that I need a minimum of $100,000 for a four year program. Money I have yet to figure out where to get it from.

She is real smart and does good in school, A’s and B’s. If she would apply herself to work on getting scholarships I am sure she would get some. They would help tremendously with the costs. Once she gets into school we have mentioned getting a job on campus; this would allow her to make some cash and meet a lot of people.

I hope it all works out and we are able to put her through school, community college for the first two years would make it much easier also.

Just waiting.

October 27, 2009 Posted by | Concerns, Kids, Parenting | , , , , , | Leave a comment