Stepdad's Thoughts

My thought and feelings.

Random Thoughts

It’s lunch time and I thought I would put down the various random thoughts I have.

Tomorrow is Sept. 11, 2010; the 9 year anniversary or memorial of the attacks by radical Muslims on the USA and its’ people. I believe for many that the attacks are just a distant memory, the solidarity that was created by the attacks has now left many Americans. I personally still feel the same sorrow for those lost now that I did then. I have come to love my country and its people more since that day. I worry more about the direction the government is taking us and feel lost as to what action I can take to correct the course.

We continue to hear the USA needs to be tolerant of others ie Muslims and their beliefs. What about ours?!!! Is there no taking into account that people were killed 9 years ago for some fucked up religious war the Muslims have laid on us. Yes, the USA has military in many places some I am sure we don’t need to be it but they are fighting others with guns. We are not randomly lining up civilians and killing them. Part of me wants the “EYE FOR AN EYE” justice to kick in so we, the USA, can kick ass.

Move the mosque! In the USA we have freedom of religion; that means the government will not and does not mandate a religion the people must follow. That’s a big part of why our ancestors came to America to begin with. I’ve heard there are some 200 mosques in New York already, don’t build one at ‘Ground Zero’. Move it several blocks away and all will be fine. The muslims scream for the Americans to be respectful and tolerant of their beliefs, where’s the respect from them toward us. This is America, if you don’t like it GET THE HELL OUT!

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I’ve been trying to take my blog entries and convert them into a MS Word document, making a book of sorts. I have toyed with the idea of giving it to my wife and step kids, thinking that the might read it. I started writing for that very reason, I am positive they have not seen any of what I have written with the exception of one or two entries, the poems. Now I think it would simply be too big for them to be able to read due to lack of attention and in some cases lack of caring. I am pretty sure my wife would read it and would switch between being angry, sad, hurt, upset, etc… as she read what I’ve felt over the last year.

I have taken time to look over the entries and I see FAILURE. Failure on my part of being able to change enough to form much of a relationship with my step kids. I am too tough on following the rules and respecting your parents to make it work. I really have just given up. I am focusing more on my Hapkido and playing with our dog, at least I know where I stand on those. Hunting season starts in November, I am starting to focus on prep for that also.

Time to go; Work is calling.

September 10, 2010 Posted by | Books, Concerns, General, Random | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bear – final update

Bear went to an animal ophthalmologist yesterday. We did this to make sure his eye was healing properly and to find out if there was any chance he might regain his sight in his left eye. the short of it is he will not be able to see out of his left eye. The up side is, per the doctor, he does have 2/3 of his sight area and is adapting very well. He is eating good and playing much like he did before the accident. Last night/evening he and I were in the patio and he was stalking the birds on the bird feeders. He literally stalks them then starts barking then chases them as they fly off. It’s very fun to watch, at least it is for me. This morning he was out early barking at the morning sounds as if telling everyone “I’m back!!”. Again this is all fun for me to watch and hear while I know for some it is no big deal and even crazy, but hey he’s my dog.

The bottom line is he is healthy and becoming more active.  we will soon start our walks again.

May 7, 2010 Posted by | General | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bear 5

Bear had his stitches removed Saturday morning; at this time he cannot see out of his left eye.  The Vet says it is too early to tell if it is permanent. He is also able to hold down food so hopefully his activity level will increase and with that his eye sight. I have been trying to get me wife to accept the idea that he may not regain sight, when I do her eyes fill with tears… talk about hurt. We both blame ourselves for all this and it is hard to accept it. I keep telling her Bear is still Bear whether he has two good eyes or one.

We continue to be hopeful.

April 26, 2010 Posted by | Concerns, General | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bear – update 4

Bear spent the day at a specialists office to have an endoscopy performed in hopes of finding the reason he is not keeping food down. Everything looked fine was the report from the vet, so we are still in the dark as to what is going on. It’s been about an hour since we fed him a small portion of rice and chicken (minced) with chicken broth. Our hopes are he will keep it down. The medicine he was taking has been changed, thinking that may have been the cause.

A bird mocking bird just made a squawking sound and that sure perked him up. He was ready to get what ever it was.

His energy level really hasn’t been impacted too hard… that’s not true. His energy level is high for a short period then he has to rest a bit then it is back. After not really eating for 2+ days it is quite remarkable to me.

He is a tough guy and I sure hope he mends soon so we can get back to our nightly walks and all his other activities, seeing like this is really tough. I want him to get back to his normal self.

April 22, 2010 Posted by | Concerns, General | , , , , | Leave a comment

Bear – Update 3

Bear, our poodle/Shih-Tzu mix, is still on the mend from the injury to his left eye. It had been a constant chore to make sure he gets his pills and eye drops on the scheduled intervals. I’m not saying it’s a problem, it just changes our priority list. Bear is first… he has now started having trouble keeping food down, this started Sunday. We have taken him to the Vet several times trying to find the cause. We gave him a beef bone on Saturday night and think that my be the cause but no one is sure yet. He went all day on Monday without eating, per the vets recommendation due the meds he was on. Tuesday I was able to give him small portions of rice and chicken broth, as the day progressed we gave him more and more frequently, Tuesday night he started the throw up again.

Bear sleeping on his pillow.

Today, my wife is taking him to the Vet again to do blood work. We hope something can be found to help find a solution to his problem. You can tell the little guy is not his usual king of the house/yard self. And, it is really upsetting us. We feel at fault for the problems he currently has, we are second guessing all our actions.

April 21, 2010 Posted by | Concerns, General | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Our Bear’s injury 2

Bear is still on the mend. We have two weeks of doctoring to do before he gets the stitches removed. I spent all day yesterday being his nurse, giving him the pills and eye drops that have be prescribed. He has started to feel better, I say that based on the way is is acting. He has started to bark finally at the door bell and other sounds. Until late yesterday he pretty much stayed put on the couch or on the floor at my feet.

Thursday and Friday my wife stays with him to be nurse.

My wife looked up the stats on his injury (proptosis), it looks like Bear has a 40% chance of retaining his eye sight.

We continue to do what we can to help his odds of retaining is sight.

April 15, 2010 Posted by | Concerns, General | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bear is injured

Saturday began as a good day. We, my wife, step-son, our dog Bear and I, headed to Fort Worth to attend a wedding. The drive was the typical are we there yet, I need to use the bathroom, etc… Once we arrived in FW we said our hellos and then sat outside to enjoy the day. My wife’s brother has two dogs, a Golden Retriever and a Sheppard mix. Our dog Bear is a Shi Tzu Poodle mix. Long story shortened the GR was playing with a stick and Bear eventually wanted to play with it. When the stick was put down he picked it up. Then the GR decided he wanted it back… Bear being the BIG little dog didn’t take kindly to that. When the GR started to get it Bear started to growl… Then everything went into hyper speed… We think the GR stepped on Bear because the next thing we heard was Bear crying out terribly. His left eye had been knocked out of socket. I quickly grabbed him up and headed to the car while my wife, brother and sister-in-law started to search for the closest Emergency Vet. After about 45 minutes one was found about 30 minutes away; we rushed Bear to the Vet.

Once there we got him checked in… The vet came to talk with us giving us all the bad things that could happen; simply put Bear may lose sight in his left eye and worse case the right eye could be impacted also. In my usual short fashion simply asked when she was going to get started putting the eye back in place. We were told that initial blood work etc…had to be done and that she would be right back with an estimated cost. When she returned a few minutes later to go over the costs I again asked when will they get started… she looked at me and I informed her that I wasn’t concerned with the costs, I have the money and just want him treated as fast as possible.

It took almost two and a half hours from the time this all started to the time Bear was out of surgery. We still don’t know if he will lose his eye sight. Friday April 23 the stitches will be removed and we will start to know the impact of the injury. Our local vet said that most cases like this she has seen the dog will lose sight in the injured eye. I am trying very hard to remain positive, trying to put on a strong attitude for my wife, the kids don’t seem to be too affected by this other than a few “poor Bear” and other little comments. My wife and I are taking it the hardest. Like I said I am trying to show the strong positive side. I stayed home to tend to Bear on Monday, alone, I was able to let out my feelings… I cried like a baby holding Bear to me. I know it sounds silly but I am really attached to the little guy. We jokingly call him my shadow sometimes since he follows me around so much, I am his person. I can seldom leave a room without him following behind me, now he is hurt and I feel guilt over him getting hurt, I am supposed to be his protector.


Time will tell what the outcome will be. We will make sure the eye drops and pills are taken as needed to give Bear the best possible opportunity to heal and not lose his eye sight. Regardless the outcome he will always be my Bear, a part of our family.

April 13, 2010 Posted by | Concerns, General | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment